Author: Skoti Pepper
It is true, that the opinion that everyone else has about you has nothing to do with you and the reverse is true, your opinion of others has nothing to do with them. Most of us are conditioned into being how our family and friends have projected on to us what is ‘right’ and ‘expected’ of us. I’m not saying this is wrong, I’m just saying it to make you realise that this goes unchecked and unquestioned.
With our own underlying unique take, we are all magically sovereign pieces of artwork and as I’ve said before, we’ve all the potential to weave the thread of who we are into a beautiful tapestry or a rag that gets trampled on. We can not get to a place of sovereignty over ourselves if we allow all the imprints of others to consistently take charge of our internal dialogue, and to do so without question. We all do this at times (some aaallll the time and some do not at all) and we do so without even considering the idea that we can challenge it. We just slip into what another person may think, or even on a social expectation level and just accept it, unconsciously. When we are in this space we have denounced all authority over ourselves and passed the reigns over to another person, OVER OURSELVES. Just think about that for a moment. Now I’m not saying it is ludicrous, because most people do it, but it is pretty powerful when you think about it, along with how those imprints might be holding you back in life.
The one way in which we hold ourselves back in life is by not coming from a place of authenticity, creativity, and integrity with who we truly are, in order to give the world the best we possibly can. You may already offer the world some amazing stuff and still come from a place of concerning yourself as to whether you are too fat; clever enough; wearing the right thing; whether he has bigger biceps or even pretty enough. However, a call to action: take five minuets to imagine what you bring to the world as you are and then imagine all you bring to the world from a place of being truly comfortable with who you are and giving yourself love and to the world, just hypothetically. You might find that you can actually give much more, and this is a gift if you can come from a place of abundance, especially if you feel like you might have nothing. We all have something.
Yes, it is nice that people may have a positive opinion of us as an individual; I’m not discrediting that. However, we might not be hearing it for two reasons:
1. We have yet to dig up a trauma from our past, which may relate to a scenario where we were spoken to with ill form and that left an unquestioned and invisible imprint on our brain. These situations/imprints pretty much just cancel out any attachment to anything positive that people may say about us.
2. There may be a part of you that might just be a bit of prick (to get to the point) and this is again probably because of point 1, which doesn’t mean you always have to be this way.
There is work that can be done about those points, so that’s some good news. But getting back to the point, if you do the work on you and nurture yourself and truly become your best friend whilst calling upon the skills of vulnerability, curiosity and independence, you will find the concern of others becomes lesser. You may also find that others are much more outwardly expressive of their appreciation of whom you are for being courageous enough to step into the light of you. Trying to be a good person gets you a limited amount of places, focusing on that as the end goal is the same as focusing just on the shit that you are going to have after you’ve eaten a quick put together meal which is trying to be a healthy nurturing well prepared meal. Just focus on what ingredients you put into who you are and make them substantial, packed full of goodness and colour. The end product will be a well structured and built creature facilitated with all the right hormonal balance, vitamins, minerals and productive neurological pathways. It is hard to not to experience warmth, love and gratitude when you yourself are giving to yourself.
The idea, if you haven’t quite caught up is to work towards a space within ourselves where we can have less weight given to what others think is to cultivate love towards our self. You deserve love, as does everyone else. Everything our soul truly wants is on the other side of giving love and I know that might not make sense to some people, I know there will be a raised eyebrow or *insert hippy bullshit comment*. I say this because I’ve been in those judgments and judgments are useful (on a subconscious perceptive level) because they help us ‘manage’ our reality, limiting factors in your own life will reflect how useful those judgments actually are.
But seriously, love is fucking good, it is gracious and beautiful, there is a strength that pulls up through body and emanates from the chest. Holding yourself with a deep confidence manifested through love is the minimum you have to offer any situation, be it your own self-thoughts, a testing human, or a tragedy. We may feel that there is too much of a reach to get to the feeling of love because we have no outside factor, like a partner, to stimulate love as society dictates. The truth is, you really have to do the work on you to realise you can create love within you and for you. Once you have those foundations, you become more solid as a person and begin to gently hold your frame and the trivialities of other people’s words really do start to show. You can be much more peaceful and understanding towards them (because after all, what they think about you is completely about them) and less hypnotized by the noise from the unconscious world. If they were speaking from a conscious place they wouldn’t be speaking in a way that negates from your authenticity, creativity, and integrity.
So, give your attention towards loving yourself and the little things will slowly be given light and you can get on with giving to the world and no longer receiving the imprints of what others think.